It Gets Better
by ClaireBear1982
Summary: WolfStar Drabble. Slightly AU-ish as Dumbledore defeated Voldemort during the first war. Obvious slash-y references. Sirius is suffering PTSD Remus is there to help.


A/N: WolfStar drabble. Don't like, don't read! No flames please.

"Remus, no! No please, please don't hurt Remus!" yelled Sirius.

Sirius watched in horror as his lover, best friend, and soul mate was mercilessly killed by the killing curse.

"NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!"

With that, Sirius awoke with a violent start. He found his face was wet with tears, and he was violently shaking. He felt an arm draped across his chest, a hand on his shoulder, the other hand cupping his face.

"Sirius, shh, it's okay, it was just a dream! Just a dream. I'm still here baby," soothed Remus.

Sirius broke down and sobbed, Remus held him tightly until the sobbing subsided.

The war had taken its toll on Sirius. For many months before Voldemort's downfall, Sirius had been held as a prisoner at Voldemort's headquarters. Word had filtered through that Remus, James and Lily had all be killed. This had sent Sirius spinning into madness. The grief that Sirius would never see his friends again had almost tortured him into insanity. Little did Sirius know that this was a huge lie, Voldemort had planned this lie and enjoyed watching Sirius spin into insanity.

Eventually, Dumbledore defeated the Dark Lord. The war was over, and the light had won. By this point Sirius was a shadow of his former self. That when the dungeon was invaded, and the prisoners were rescued, no one had even recognised Sirius Black.

Days later, and Sirius had woken up in St Mungo's, to find a sleep Remus in a chair next to his bed.

'This can't be real' thought Sirius. 'Remus is dead.'

Sirius had reached out to touch the mirage in front of his eyes. He had to know if it was real, or if he was dreaming.

"Remus? Remus? Is that really you?" asked Sirius his voice hoarse from lack of use.

Remus awoke with a start, and smiled.

"Yes Sirius it is me, I'm glad you're finally awake," said Remus sounding relieved.

Remus had moved from his chair and sat on the side of the bed, he'd helped Sirius to sit up and held a cup of water whilst Sirius had drunk thirstily.

"I thought you were dead," Sirius told him sadly. "You and James and Lily."

"No, that was a lie. I'm here, I'm real."

Remus had taken him by the hand and placed it on his chest so Sirius could feel that he was in fact solid with a heartbeat. Sirius broke down and sobbed.

"For so long I thought I was alone, for so long I just wished I could die. I didn't want to be alone Remus, I didn't want to be alone."

Remus had held Sirius. Just as he was doing now.

"It was just a nightmare baby, I'm still here," whispered Remus lovingly.

He kissed Sirius on his damp forehead. After a while Sirius' body started to relax and his breathing evened out, Remus then felt it was safe to let Sirius go.

"Okay now?" asked Remus as he examined the face of the man he loved so dearly.

"I'm okay, sorry I woke you again," said Sirius ruefully.

"I don't mind, come on lets go downstairs and I'll make us both some hot cocoa."

As Sirius slipped from the bed, Remus looked at Sirius. He scrutinized every inch of his lover. He could see Sirius was finally filling out. This was the first time since St Mungo's that Remus had actually seen Sirius' body, he'd only felt it through the material of his clothing. But there was definitely a marked improvement, to what he'd been like only three months prior.

"Checking me out Remus?" said Sirius with forced humour.

"Of course! You sexy beast, you!" said Remus light with a smile.

Sirius just grimaced.

"You don't have to lie to me Remus, I know I look like shit!" snapped Sirius as he aggressively pulled a t-shirt on over his head.

Remus quickly hauled himself off their bed and stood in front of Sirius, a serious expression on his face.

"Sirius, my love, you don't look like shit at all! Even now you can still outshine me. To me, you'll always be gorgeous," Remus said softly and lovingly.

They'd had this argument so many times now. Remus knew why Sirius was doing it, he needed the reassurance that he was still loved, still wanted and still desirable.

"Really?" asked Sirius uncertain as always.

"Really, my love."

Remus cupped Sirius' cheek with his right hand and stroked a thumb over his high cheekbone.

Later when they returned to bed, the usual tentative kisses and cuddles ensued. Until Sirius broke it off.

"Would... would you make love to me?" asked Sirius nervously.

"Is that what you want? Are you ready? I don't want you to force yourself to do something you're not ready to do," answered Remus.

"I need to, I need to feel again, I've been numb for so long," whispered Sirius vehemently.

"Is that the only reason?" probed Remus further.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius quietly.

"Are you wanting this because you want me to prove to you that I love you?" whispered Remus.

"Remus, my love, I know that you love me, and I love you, so much that it hurts. I want to feel like a man again, I want to really feel again," said Sirius with a certainty in his voice. Something that Remus hadn't heard for almost three years.

So Remus slowly, softly and passionately made love to Sirius. When it was over they lay in each others arms, completely replete and relaxed.

"Thank you my love," whispered Sirius lovingly.

"For what baby?" asked Remus.

"For loving me, for putting up with me, for helping me, just everything," said Sirius softly, warmly and lovingly.

"I would move Heaven and Earth for you my darling boy," replied Remus as he swept a lock of hair off of Sirius forehead and kissed him there.

Sirius kissed Remus back, and pulled him even closer to himself. Sirius then wriggled down slightly so he could lay with his head on Remus' chest and listen to his heartbeat until it lulled him into a safe, soft, kind dream world for a while at least.


End file.
